


I'm Sorry

by anythingpastorpresent



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-11 20:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15323715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingpastorpresent/pseuds/anythingpastorpresent
Summary: "Tony, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really completely happy with this but I don't think I'll be fixing it any time soon, so I thought I'd just go ahead and post it anyway. This was written before Infinity War came out, based on the SDCC trailer where Peter says "Tony, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." (Back before we ~~KNEW WHY HE WAS APOLOGIZING, JESUS CHRIST~~ ) And yeah my title is really original.

When Tony pulls the mask off he's pretty sure that he's about to die and that the doctors fucked up when he went into surgery to have the shrapnel taken out, because it certainly feels like there's a piece of metal digging right into his heart, ripping it to shreds and leaving him open and bleeding.

Peter's face is - it's white, and slack and Tony can't - he just can't, Peter Parker can not be dead because May would murder Tony, okay, and it's all his own fault-

But that's not true, not at all - May wouldn't have to murder Tony, he thinks, as he pushes down on Peter's chest over and over, ("You can do compressions to the beat of 'Stayin' Alive'," apparently, he thinks maybe Bruce had mentioned once) because he's pretty sure he would beat May to that, if Peter doesn't wake up, if Tony can't force Peter to come back to them, to him.

He loses track of how long he does the compressions, how many times he pushes his breath into Peter's lungs and wills them to start doing their fucking job, goddamn it - and if he's gonna have enough air in his own lungs to live, enough to spout out dumb science jokes that only Peter and Bruce usually laugh at, to unintentionally hurt the people he cares about, to apologize in ways that aren't enough, to bullshit his way out of sticky and usually dangerous situations- well, then that air can either bring back the life to Peter's lungs or it can fuck right off because Tony doesn't want it.

He doesn't know how long he's been rambling, but then he realizes he is, "Don't you do this to me, kid, don't you fucking dare." He feels the sting of sweat in his eyes, thinks for a second that it's weird how the sweat is running down his cheeks, and he'd wipe it away but he has to keep his hands on Peter's chest, and keeps talking as he leans down to keep breathing for Peter. "I've invested way too much time and money into you for you to give up now, so don't even think about checking out on me, Parker, are you listening? Come on, Spider-Man."

Tony's getting desperate, he can hear a distant buzzing in his ears that he only realizes later is the other Avengers trying to talk to him (and he'll want to rip them apart when what they say registers, "Tony, stop" and "it's too late" and "he's gone") and where the hell is that fucking helicopter? His hands are shaking, and he can feel something snap under them as he gives a particularly hard thrust and growls, "Come on, Spider-man."

And then he hears the most beautiful sound in the entire world, better than the armor assembling itself around him or FRIDAY's voice telling him one of his tests have been successful or the repulsors gearing up to fire, as Peter draws in a ragged gasp and opens his eyes.

Tony is frozen, his own chest unmoving as he stares at the kid in front of him, and Peter looks at him like Tony said Peter caused the end of the world himself.

"Hey, Spiderling," Tony reaches out and touches Peter's face and neck gently. He can't resist feeling for a pulse even though the proof is right in front of him, and when he feels it pulsing, it finally lets him breathe. "Way to scare the shit out of us all, kid," he says, even though he's only talking about himself, "d'you think you could get out of this fight by almost dying?" and his voice breaks on the last word, because there was no "almost." The edges of Peter's lips are turned up, but if it's a smile it's a sad one and he mostly looks like he's about to fall apart.

"Tony, I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry."

A sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob chokes itself out of Tony's mouth, and he shakes his head, "Don't you dare apologize to me," and when he pulls Peter toward him, the kid's arms go reflexively around his waist. Tony can't resist pressing a kiss to Peter's forehead before wrapping one arm around him and bringing the kid's head to rest right where the arc-reactor used to be and shielding it protectively with his other hand.

He doesn't know when the world started moving again, but he hears the second greatest sound in the world as a helicopter finally starts to touch down a few yards away, and when Tony goes to pull back, Peter's hands grip the back of his shirt tighter, even as he lets out a small noise of pain, and Tony remembers the broken rib he gave him trying to save his life. He shushes Peter, and it's a testament to how much the kid must be hurting when the second attempt to pull back and get Peter to lay flat on the ground is more successful, but he grabs onto Tony's sleeve and doesn't let go, and Tony doesn't pull away.

He manages to hang on while the medics lift him onto a gurney, and even as they load him into the helicopter, but then they're working and Tony has to pry the fingers away even though it's the last thing he wants to do. Peter clearly tries not to make a sound, but a small whimper makes its way out anyway, and when the medics are done inserting lines and attaching monitors and Tony's sure he won't be in the way, he takes Peter's hand in one of his, and puts the other right above the heart that he doesn't want to see stop again until Tony is long gone from this world, and says, "Hey, kid. Hey, Peter, I'm here, alright? I'm not going anywhere." The oxygen mask they put on Peter's face reminds him just how young he really is, how vulnerable, and Tony squeezes his hand tighter. "I'm not going anywhere," he says again.

He keeps eye contact until Peter nods and his eyes begin to close, whether from exhaustion or relief or drugs he doesn't know, but Tony sits back in his seat and holds onto his kid's hand, and neither of them let go.


End file.
